Pawan calls me 'Subbamma' & 'Subbs': Renu Desai

By - December 06, 2014 - 01:53 PM IST

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‘Renu Desai’ – A lot of us know her as Pawan Kalyan’s ex-Wife. Some of us are still under an impression that she is still his wife (Of course, that’s their admiration!). But there is much to Renu Desai besides this. She was a model, actress, investor and now a producer and director as well. She is now in pursuit of happiness and more purpose in life. This timid yet vivacious personality spoke her heart out perhaps for the first time in her birthday special interview ‘Birthday Musings’. Here are few excerpts from her interview:

** I want Aadya and Akira to have a normal childhood. I know the fact they are star kids. But on parenting, myself and Kalyan garu are on the same lines. For instance, Aadya asked me for a Barbie watch which I denied because she still doesn’t know how to read time. She immediately called her father (Pawan Kalyan) and complained. He too said just grow up fast and we’ll get you the watch. He is in contact with the kids even today. We are technically not wife and husband but we are still parents of those two beautiful beings.

** I was happily married to Kalyan garu till the last moment. I was just 18yrs when I signed Badri. It was love at first sight with Kalyan garu and I don’t know about his first marriage when I was getting married to him. He told me about his marriage but I thought the divorce process would be easy. I was so madly in love with him and my love is blind, deaf and dumb too. I convinced my parents and after a year or so, they were okay with it.

** He (Pawan Kalyan) used to call me Subbamma (contextually meaning a dumbo). Later, it turned into ‘Subbs’ and eventually into ‘Su’. I’m so used to it that even when someone on the sets of my IshqwalaLove once called ‘Su’, I was frozen for a moment wondering how Kalyan came over suddenly! But now, ‘Su’ has stopped.

** It was very painful when I got to hear that I took some Rs 40 crores alimony from Kalyan garu. It was shocking and disheartening to hear it from couple of people from the film industry also. But, the fact is I did not take any money from Kalyan garu or will I in future. For instance, during Johnny time, one day Kalyan garu gave me some cheques of huge amount saying he wanted to pay back his remuneration to all the distributors. I instantly gave back the cheques saying “Do what your heart feels right”. So, believe it or not, I was never money minded in life.

** Some of my friends and fans ask me “Why can’t you go back to him”. But I seriously wonder to whom should I go back! He has moved on and is married to someone else and I should respect his private life kada. As I told before, it was not a strenuous separation and we did not utter a word ill of each other. And that doesn’t mean I have moved on completely. That is why when my friends ask me why I can’t marry/see someone else; I say you can't stop loving someone and it all happens only once. It is not easy as said. See…I always wanted 4 kids and I made it clear to Kalyan also. And I also thought that I will live till death with the person I married but now I realize that destiny is much bigger than your thoughts. It is painful but I’m slowly learning to move on.

** At one point, I even argued with my lawyer that how a piece of paper and two signatures can separate two people! I believe if there is a sacred process for a wedding, there should also be a similar reverse ritual for a separation too. It can’t be that easy – either the ritual or our law is not right.

** Not many know that I started working right when I was 17 yrs. I’m into modeling doing lot of ads and I was also into investing as well. I had this penchant for social service from then only. And for god’s sake, I’m not copying anyone in my social service also. I always prefer to have it as a secret love affair but when I was told that some got inspired from my deeds, I started sharing about them. Otherwise, I’m always against exhibitionism and posting everything on FB or Twitter. I got frequent on social media these days to promote my films.

**Earlier, I did not have an identity of my own in whatever I did and that is why, when I decided to make a film, I wanted to do all on my own and prove myself. That is how, Magalashtak happened which gave me the much needed confident and drive. Now, I love to sit back, write, sketch and I’m currently occupied with two kids, friends and my newfound filmmaking business.

** These days, I don’t get excited about celebrating birthdays because it is something I enjoy with all the dear ones. And I always have this confusion whether I should celebrate because I was born or getting a year older. Last year, he (Pawan Kalyan) came down for my birthday and this year it's not the same. Above all, he too has his commitments right! Yes, I do miss him (Pawan Kalyan) but this is life kada.

Well, that is Renu Desai for you. Wishing her once a Happy Birthday belatedly.

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